Why I write This Blog
I write this blog because I have a lot to say. I have a lot of thoughts on things, but I only have so many people around me I can talk to. Furthermore, I’m actually really bad at saying what I want to say. While I may come across as well constructed in my writing here, I often take hours or days to put these words together; a luxury I don’t have when speaking.
I write this blog because I get caught up in my own head. I am a serial ruminator, and if I don’t get some outlet I will just sit there thinking myself in circles on assorted subjects and be miserable the whole time. By writing these ideas down, not only do I get to ruminate on them while I write, I also have the opportunity to get it out of my head. I get the opportunity to see that my thoughts and feelings have a home outside of myself.
I write this blog because, at the end of the day, I am selfconscious. I often feel like I’m either not heard, or that I can’t say what I want to say without needing the ability to hide after saying it. By writing this blog, I’m able to put my thoughts to paper, and cast them out to the void. If anyone has opinions on what I write, they’re free to email me, or write a post in response, but I’m equally as free to carry on with my day knowing that I said what I wanted to.
I write this blog to remember. I have an awful memory, and so by writing things down, I can better know where I’ve been and what mindset I was in during a given time period. For many years I was shamed for holding onto my past by someone who wanted to forget his ever existed. I can’t reclaim what was destroyed, but now I’m free to catalog my life to my heart’s content.
Above all, I write this blog to be my authentic self. I’m autistic, but I’ve spent most of my life masking as best as I can. This has meant keeping my Self restrained. On my blog, I mask for no one.