The company I currently work for has something they call the Core Values. The Core Values are four guiding principals that help us achieve our business goals. They are principals we want to see in all employees, and they drive our hiring, firing, and promotion decisions. This all may sound pretty “corporate synergy”-ish, which would make sense since it does come from a business philosophy system called the Entrepreneurial Operating System, but these Core Values have successfully gotten us where we are today, and I think the Core Values we use align with my own personality pretty well.

But I’m not writing about my employer’s Core Values today. Instead, I want to write about my own Core Values. While they may match pretty close with my employee, I am my own person.

Embrace The Meteor

In the song Composite Character by End Of A Year, the singer gives us two sets of instructions. The first is a list of criteria to best appreciate the album, and the second is a set of things you should do or be to best understand what the album is about. Really pretty much all of the instructions in the second half of the song are good. The last stanza of the song is really what hits me in the feels, though.

Attach yourself to people who are funny

Distance yourself from uptight squares

Embrace the meteor

Try new things

Change is scary. This is a common problem for a lot of people, but I am especially resistant to change. Now, change in small forms can be fine. I’m fine if plans get rescheduled, or maybe I want/need to try something new at a restaurant, but large changes in social orders are something I will go out of my way to avoid. Whether it’s finding a new job because I’m no longer happy, or leaving an abusive partner, I will find every excuse I can to put it off.

On top of that, I am terrible at trying new things. This becomes doubly true when I know someone will see the result of me trying that new thing. I care too much about what people think of me, and the thought of anyone thinking I did something poorly prevents me from doing so many things. Even some of my blog posts get left in the ether for fear that someone might not like it.

It’s for these reasons that I find this notion of embracing the meteor to be so inspiring. The meteor is an unstoppable agent of change. It will strike, and it will impact you heavily. All you can do is accept it, and carry on. Much of my life has been spent ruminating on what could have been and what I could’ve done differently, because in some sense I think that I could have done thing differently. I couldn’t have, though. The meteor struck, that’s all there is to it. All I can do now is embrace the change it brought. This core value of mine ties in well with, what used to be, a Core Value of my employer which was Grow Thyself. The notion with this one is that we should always be working on improving ourself. Not just improving the work we do, but improving ourselves as people. But I’ve moved to my own Embrace the Meteor idea because growing oneself is nice and good, but it’s almost too idyllic. Growing yourself can be uncomfortable, but you need to embrace that meteor.

I Am A Person Among Other People

I heard this line from disgraced psychologist Jordan Peterson in a remix of some of his speeches by Akira The Don. Now, dear reader, please don’t take this an endorsement of Jordan Peterson. He is a senile old man who was filled with hate and fear long before he lost his mind. But a broken clock and all that.

This is a value of mine that I’ve held since I was a teen, but until recently I’ve always come at it from a pessimist’s perspective. At my core, I am a people pleaser, and I will gladly self-sacrifice for those close to me, and I would tell myself, “I’m a person just as much as they are. How could I be so important as to not give up what I have for others? Are they not just as deserving of my energy as I am?” What this idea boiled down to was that because I am just a person among people, I deserve no more respect than anyone else

As I’m sure you can imagine, after nearly a decade of this mindset, I am now very burnt out. It wasn’t until a year or two ago that I came to terms with the fact that because I am in fact a person among other people, I therefore deserve just as much respect as other people. This was also when I came to terms with the fact that I am just as deserving of my own energy, if not more so, than others around me. I would sacrifice my time and energy to others because I thought that was the best way to show my love for others, but in doing so I refused to accept that I was truly worth my own love. It is for this reason that I now stop to think when a request is made of me, “do I have the energy to spare?” and if I don’t, then that’s okay. I’m a person, and I deserve rest.

Any Port In A Storm

Similar to how I will not do things if I think people won’t like what I do, I often won’t even do things if I don’t like the quality of it. Last year there was an IndieWeb Carnival on the subject of Good Enough. I told myself I was going to participate in this one, and even started writing an entry for it. Ironically, I wound up not finishing it. It wasn’t good enough. That post still sits in my drafts. Who knows, maybe someday it will be good enough.

In high school, I had to take a writing/public speaking sort of class. The assignments mostly revolved around telling a story about something in your life. At this time, I was a very depressed and contrarian teenager, and so most of that class I just did not do. While I gave the same excuse for many of the assignments, the one that I remember the most was an assignment where we were supposed to prepare a speech about a memorable vacation we had been on. For context, my school was mostly made up of kids from wealthy families, so this should’ve been an inoffensive topic. But that was not the case for me. My mother was destitute thanks to my father intentionally bankrupting us, and so not only did I not have any pleasant stories to share, I was actually quite bitter about the topic. So, I refused to do it. I remember my mum and my teacher both just begging me to write something, even if I had to make up a story. The idea that I would make up a phony happy story just for a grade was all the more offensive.

I’ve recently decided, though, that this mindset doesn’t get me very far in life. Sure, I may save myself some heart ache if I or other people don’t like what I do, be it something I make or something I do, but at least I did something. At least I can say I tried. If I really don’t like what I’ve done, then at least I can now see the real results, and use that to improve in the future. Even if it only gets you a fraction of the way towards your goal, a less-than-ideal solution is still a solution.

In Closing

I have other useful truisms and platitudes I tell myself, but I feel these three are the values that most reflect how I want the world to perceive me, and will propel me forward in life. I would say it’s important for anyone to be aware of what their Core Values are, and how those values guide them through life. Do you have Core Values? Why not write about it and let me know.